Yesterday I was cleaning the kitchen and little miss was getting in the cabinet to get a bowl, to make herself some ravioli, when she notices my new pack of birth control. I hold my breath because an chance she gets to ask anything grown up related she takes it, and this was no exzception.
She says "OH mommy you got new pills" as shes flipping the bad boy open, She questions, why the last row is a different color, well last year on the bus ride home from school, she heard about the 5th grade movie, and we had to have a discussion about periods, and I ended up being yelled at for bleeding when I gave birth. Yeah thats how these things go. So I'm very carefully trying to choose my words to give her the bare minimum of information with out opening up a whole new conversation I'm not willing to have.
I explain that the last row of pills is different because that's the set you take when you're on your period, and shes then questions the status of my menstrual cycle. And she pauses and gets the look of disgust on her face and then she speaks, I hold my breath! "So you mean to tell me, I when I get older, I get hormones and a period? WHAT DO BOYS GET?" and yes she was yelling at this point! I say boys go through puberty. she says "boys have puberty and then they are grown up boys, but I have to have hormones and periods forever?" I say yes, and her response was that of every woman I've ever known. "That makes me want to throw this bowl, thats not fair, and I'm mad, I want to throw stuff" She says will I have to take pills, when I grow up, I said IDK baby we'll have to wait and see.
So then she asks why daddy isn't home yet and I say "Well baby daddy got held up at the Shippers, and now he's running behind and will get home after bit" My lovely little daughter was a apparently half listening cause she responds with "Why is daddy at the strippers anyways" I said "ALY! don't say that that's bad, I said SHIPPERS" she then question what a stripper is FML, by saying "Mommy what is a stripper?" I say you don't need to know baby its not good, she says "But mommy how will I know not to do that or be that when I grow up if I don't know what this is?" UGH Now I have to tell her, so I put it as politely as I know how without giving her any extra info thats not required, I say " Strippers are people who take all their clothes off for money" She responds with "Ew mom, thats nasty why'd you tell me that" I can't win for loosing!
Later on in the day we go to get the kids some new jeans, and look for new winter boots, and we're standing in the show store after getting the jeans out of the way, and I tell the kids to look and see if they like anything. After about 10 minutes of their random roaming around, I ask if they see anything and Aly picks a pair to try on and looks less then impressed, and Jayden's still roaming around, and I help Aly and ask Jayden if he found any boots that he liked and he looks at me and says "I'm suppose to be looking for boots?" REALLY? So I say ok lets just go home, and they are like but we didn't get boots, UGH I tell them we'll go get some somewhere else later instead.
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